Quit the act, sweetheart

It’s 6AM, a quiet morning in the heart of Hyderabad. The sun is rising between concrete walls and shining on the glass panels. I was sipping my tea and then a thought strikes. The “why”.  Not a day passes without me asking that question. Is it a constant question? Is it my curiosity? Is it my contemplation? I don’t know. We come across many things while consuming content everyday. When I say consume, I mean it in a literal sense. Our brains are getting fatter by day in the new worlds we are being exposed into.

“I bought a new car guys” says a friend who sat by me in school while I still am trying to find good hot wheels. “It’s my kids first birthday” says another who said they hate kids 5 years ago. People used to laugh away on all these back in the 90s; why? Because they met once in a very long while. Now, as the calendar moves, we can’t resist from sharing about watching a movie and take pride in it. Gone are the days where evening chai and second show were not luxury or pride.

More than half of us are scrolling infinitely everyday in search of dopamine, and with that, we are missing the fun in little joys of life. Why? Because we are being overstimulated.

“When you are overstimulated, you simply need more external stimuli for the same amount of dopamine to be released” - Thibaut Meurisse in Dopamine Detox

To put it in simpler words, we are eating too much biryani everyday that we miss the joy of having it once in a while. Don’t fool yourself saying you still love it, you don’t. You’re just used to eating it, you’re not excited anymore. We are being served everything on a platter, we don’t want fun anymore. We just want to pretend we are having fun doing what everyone else is doing, let that sink in.

This isn’t about missing some romanticised past. It’s about how we are drowning in everyone’s fake lives. Your schoolmate’s new watch, your neighbour’s gym selfie, some influencer’s “perfect” vacation, and the job of an influencer is to influence you, it’s written right there. Why do we care? Because we’re hooked on sizing ourselves up against them. As they perfectly said

“We look for happy endings in stories because we never have them in reality” - Rahul Kapoor in  Kapoor and Sons 

Back in the day, you would hear about someone achieving something at a cousin’s wedding and it felt like a story, not a punch to your gut. Now, every notification on your phone is a reminder of what you’re not doing, what you don’t own, who you’re not. I’m a part of this too, or I was. Posting stuff that I did not even have to. I’m a part of hitting you in your gut too and I apologise for that. I started focusing on who I want to be in my heart rather than punishing myself for who I am not. I think it’s a hit of realisation.

I would suggest you quit the act too. You’re not above this mess, and neither am I. We’re all stuck in this stupid game, refreshing for a hit of validation. Want out? Ditch the phone for a bit. Crack stupid jokes with your friends without filming it. Live something that doesn’t need a filter. That “why” I keep asking? It’s because I’m sick of this fake race to nowhere. And if you’re honest, you’re sick of it too. Stop pretending and just live, please.